Day 8: Soldier - Taemin

Song: Soldier

Artist: Taemin

Jan 8

I've been thinking a lot about the endings lately. Today, especially, I have been really introspective, dwelling on thoughts of loss and how people cope. I have the good fortune of coming from an immediate family that has an incredibly strong bond, however, not everyone is as lucky. When times are hard fragile bonds are tested and sometimes, tragically, broken beyond repair.

Taemin is a widely successful solo artist, as well as, a member of the group SHINee. His solo tracks tend to be lyrical with elements of R&B and pseudo pop.

As we begin, we are introduced to a piano rising in its crescendo and back. The dynamics in this sequence repeat a few times throughout the song. As you will come to learn, I am obsessed with a few things as a musician: dynamics, vocalist's breath, and contrasts. Dynamics are crucial to the emotional feeling we get from a song and breathe life into the song's message. In the case of "Soldier" the repetitive crescendo into decrescendo of the piano mirrors the ups and downs we have in life, relationships, etc. The piano is lyrical and andante. Which again I find fascinating. The term "andante", for those not familiar, means to play at a walking pace (not too fast or too slow) but linked with the dynamics it is a brilliant and hidden way of depicting one's walk through life. As we move through the song the piano stays andante, however, we hear very staccato downbeats with a rest on the & beat. Like footsteps. I cannot stress enough just how clever this song writer was, intentional or not, and the level of talent that goes into such minute details. Changing instruments along the way we experience these staccato downbeats throughout, virtually the entire song, until a beautiful ritardando fades us away.

Vocally Taemin is one of those artist that just makes you feel. His vocal melody in "Soldier" is no exception. Even in my best of moods his voice is able to raise goosebumps and stir up emotions that are quite far from the surface. The contrasts in his lower and upper register make for this delicious heartache. His low to mid range vocals are clear and feel warm. His high range, however, are breathy and  light, like a gentle breeze cutting through the warmth on a midsummer day. As we hit the apex of the music instrumentally, Taemin delivers an absolutely toe curling belt as if he is pleading to the heavens with his whole soul. It's emphatic and Shakespearean in nature and I love every single part of it.

Finally, we come to these incredible lyrics. It's very clear that in reality this song is written for someone specific and is jam packed with highly allegorical metaphors. But in terms of interpretation there is something inherently spiritual in nature to this song that I find incredibly compelling. And in my current mindset really sent me into a frenzy.

"I open my arms
It doesn't matter, I need an angel's hand
Cause a devil kissed me kissed me"

"If I can wash away my sins
I will get on my knees right now
Even if you choke me
Even if you destroy my body
I swear to the sky, I raise my hand
I just wanna be a Soldier"

"I'm trying to clear you from my mind
I still haven't been able to fix our misunderstanding
I need your forgiveness"

I find the use of the word Soldier to be a very interesting choice. He wants to fight, protect, serve. He wants to be honorable, dutiful, and self-sacrificing.  He wants that with every part of himself until he ends the song singing he was "Born to be a Soldier".

"I want to be together with you until the end
I kiss your lips
Until I stop breathing
Until the sun rises above the world
I wanted to protect you by my side
I was born to be a Soldier"

This last phrase is so heartbreakingly romantic and painful. Through my own interpretation "I was born to be a soldier" becomes "I was born to be yours". Doesn't that just hit you like a punch to the stomach?

Lyric that attacked me:
"I was born to be a Soldier"

Song Color: Soft Cream

Mood: Melancholic