Day 22: Forever Rain - RM

Song: Forever Rain
Artist: RM
Jan 22

It's been an incredibly long and emotional day. I found myself dwelling on life, death, and how short our time here is. Our own individual times obviously varying from person to person, which then prompted me to start in on sonder (the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own). More than any of that, however, I found myself focusing on my Aunt and my cousins experiencing a loss that I cannot yet comprehend.

RM, real name Kim Namjoon, is the leader and one of the rappers from the group BTS. Relatable, poignant, and emotional, "Mono" is his second solo release and it is, perhaps, my top album of 2018.

I remember my first time listening through "Forever Rain", within the first few seconds of the intro I was immediately covered in goosebumps and could literally feel the chords warming me from the inside out. Even now, after countless listens, I still experience the same sensation. The high tinkling of the piano contrasting against such a low, somber bass immediately sets the mood and tone of "Forever Rain". Meanwhile, the sound of rain falling is soothing within the established melancholic feeling. The transition element really affected me today, the simple ticking of a clock. As RM begins with his vocals our underlying music is mellow and relaxed. Speaking of RM's vocals the conscious choice to split between rapping and singing feels like we are given the opportunity to experience both sides of RM himself, the public face and his private face. There is a very interesting effect that I honestly can't identify but it makes me think of something being twisted and stretched in every direction. The chorus reintroduces that powerful bass made even more chill-inducing with the addition of the bass drum. It's deeply moving and despite the ever-present loneliness, it feels as if we aren't alone, which fills me with so much hope it's overwhelming.

I don't know if there are actually words to describe Namjoon as a lyricist. I'm feeling a sense of deja vu having typed that. That being said, he basically exudes poetry and thoughtfulness. 

"I wish it rains all day
Cuz I'd like someone to cry for me, yeah
I wish it rains all day
Cuz then people wouldn't stare at me, yeah"

"Cuz the umbrella would cover the
sad face
Cuz in the rain people are busy 

minding themselves

Gonna breathe a little slower
Cuz my life and my rap, they're
usually too fast"

The first two verses are feelings I have personally felt. Feeling alone and like an outcast, as if no one would care enough to understand.

"When it rains I
Get a little feeling that I do have a
friend
Keeps knocking on my windows
Asks me if I'm doing well
And I answer I'm still a hostage of
life
I don't live because I can't die
But I'm chained to something"

Despite the darkness of this verse the notion of being chained to something, be it a person, an ideal, dream, whatever is such a selfless statement and one I am so grateful to read. There are days where we all feel like we are just existing and it would be so much easier to not deal with the hardships of life but there is such selfishness in that feeling. When we reach that low we aren't thinking of the reasons why we should continue on and I think it is important to remind ourselves that while we might feel trapped or in pain but there is something keeping you here. There is a reason for your existence.

Lyric that attacked me:
"If I could kiss
The whole world so hard
Would someone wlcome me
Maybe embrace my weary body"

Song Color: Ashy grey

Mood: Melancholic