Day 42: Black Spot - Local Natives

Song: Black Spot

Artist: Local Natives

Feb 11

I started the day in a great mood and now after about 5 hours of binging the last few episodes of Mr. Sunshine my good mood is completely destroyed. I feel like a part of my soul died with that ending and my anxiety is through the roof.

Local Natives is an American Indie Rock band formed in 2005. Their debut album was released in 2009 in the UK and later released in the US in 2010.

"Black Spot" begins with a flurry of quiet sixteenth notes on our piano. A feeling of anxiety washes over me in this intro. With the addition of our despondent vocal we begin to build one instrument at a time; trying their hardest to overpower the rapid heartbeat of the piano, yet, unable to do so. As the ensemble drops off again the stark isolation of the piano becomes almost omnipresent with its tension.  The second attempt to build and suppress the power of the piano is slow like a lit fuse on a long chord. Finally, the explosion of harmonies and melodies take control leaving a sense of euphoric relief. Vocally and musically the most dynamic portion of the song, the last verse is victorious, as if  a great enemy has been defeated.

Lyrically, "Black Spot" is highly open to interpretation. Due to the musical context and tone, I find myself interpreting said lyrics as someone quite literally battling their demons, which in this case happen to take residence in mental illness.

"And if I didn't know
To be afraid
The faces made me sure that I do now
As I sit and wait
As I sit and wait"

I interpret the faces in two ways here. The first is doctors, friends, family. Real people in our vocalist's life who are watching over him in fear. It could be fear of self-harm or harm towards other  people. My second interpretation ventures into the notion of  schizophrenia. The faces may be a symptom. It's clear that he knew previously that he should "be afraid" and the faces further solidify his personal assessment.

"Oh no,
I'm dying wrong
But I'm still lying here
Alive
With a black spot
On my arm
And so calm, I look inside"

The first time I heard this song, many many many moons ago I visually always saw this black spot as some sort of cosmic black hole, however it always appeared stylistically as if Van Gogh had painted the scene I saw before me.  I find this rather interesting looking back, as if my brain was trying to connect the dots for me in hindsight.  Van Gogh is a poster child for mental illness and its effects, and amongst the diseases he is considered to have been victim to is Schizophrenia. Suddenly, this verse has just gotten infinitely more interesting. Let's take a look at our lyrics first. The phrase "I'm dying wrong"  is fascinating especially when followed by "But I'm still lying here alive". It sounds like a failed attempt on his life whether done intentionally by himself or someone else. Heading back to   dear Vincent, for those of you unfamiliar with the circumstances surrounding Van Gogh's death he was shot in the stomach, presumably by himself but there is the belief that someone else was involved, and he didn't die until two days later. We are talking about an incredibly slow death here. I would definitely put that up there as a "wrong" way to die. Especially as you lay there aware that you will slowly bleed out.  The so called black spot reads to me as a wound so deep it's black and the placement on the arm a nod to the romanticized suicide through slit wrists, which would also be a slower death. 

"That if it comes to claim
I won't run"

What is the "it" our singer is talking about? Honestly it could be either life or death, however, the word "claim" screams death. I see these repeated words as his acceptance of death and not running from it but I also see this as the exact opposite; his acceptance of death but not running towards it.

Lyric that attacked me:
"And I see the things
I always knew

But wasn't sure until now"

Song Color: Midnight Blue and Ash Grey

Mood: Anxious